I put lip balm on this morning. Dash asked me “I have lip balm please?” so I said “Sure buddy, pucker up!” and I put some lip balm on him. Then he stood back and told me “I’m beautiful! I have lip balm on my pucker.” LIPS, honey. Let’s call those lips.

“ellemennopee. Q are ess, tee u vee doub you ex why zee. Now I don’t care.”

Dash calls Sneakers ‘Fat Goober.’ Sneakers is sitting next to me on the couch, where Dash often sits. “Fat Goober! Get out of my seat!” I almost don’t want to correct him because it’s funny.

Daddy, I have applesauce please? Honey?

Dash hates going to bed. Tonight *seemed* like it was going to be uneventful until after being quiet in bed for about 20 minutes, we hear Dash descend from his bed and come to the top of the stairs. “Want to lie down on couch, please.” “Want to lie down on couch, please!” “…Ian?” It is cracking me the hell up that he...