Dash ::running around upstairs:: Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh Me: What are you doing, Dash? Dash: I’m doing waah! Oh.

I eat waffles today!

Dash: Go downstairs right now Daddy. (endless loop) me: *walk down two steps* Dash: (screaming) Come back upstairs right now!

At his 2 year check, our NP was playing with Dash to make sure he’d be compliant and was listening to his chest and belly with the stethoscope and said “Is your breakfast in there?” Over a week later, Ian was trying to put the brat delightful angel to bed and put his head on Dash’s belly, and Dash said “My breakfast is in...

“More bleroccoli please!”

Dash had his 2 year check up. 34lb, 37″ tall. And then, despite the fact that if we ask hi to tell us what Gordon Ramsay says he inevitably yells “No!” he decided, for no apparent reason, to yell “You donkey!” right after we confirmed that we don’t let him watch too much tv.

I’m a drunk man! In the grocery store, loud n’ clear.

I’m ever good, mommy.

“Do you know where we live, Dash?” “Chapters.”

“More applesauce, mommy!” “MORE applesauce? My goodness, how much applesauce is there?” “Many applesauces, mommy.”